One great way to integrate into German culture is to pretend to like soccer. There are two main strategies here, plus one rarely used alternative that is worth mentioning.
- Learn to love your local team. The teams in the German premier league, the Bundesliga, are spread throughout the country. Become a fan of the nearest team and follow them religiously. If you are located in New Germany, or in an area with lots of New Germans living there, supporting every team from New Germany is considered good form.
- Become a Bayern Munich fan. This is a strategy that must considered very carefully, but it can yield great results. 92% of Germans hate Bayern Munich, even in Munich itself. The remaining 8% will want to be friends with you automatically, because they wouldn’t have any friends otherwise. This severely limits your demographics, but sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures.
The lesser used strategy is to become a St. Pauli supporter. This will keep people at safe a distance from you.
deutsche Übersetzung für Astrid ein/ausblenden
Gnädige Frau Astrid,hiermit erfolgt die Übersetzung:
Blitztipp-Gucken wie Flasche leer
Eine tolle Möglichkeit, sich in Deutschland anzupassen, ist, Interesse an Fussball zu simulieren. Hier gibt es zwei Hauptstrategien und eine eher selten genutzte, die auch erwähnenswert ist.
- Lernen Sie, Ihre lokale Mannschaft zu lieben. Die Mannschaften in der deutschen Spitzenliga, der Bundesliga, sind über das ganze Land verteilt. Werden Sie ein Fan der Mannschaft, an der Sie am nächsten dran wohnen und folgen Sie ihr gewissenhaft. Wenn Sie in den neuen Bundesländern wohnen, oder in einer Gegend, in der viele Menschen aus den neuen Bundesländern wohnen, wird das Unterstützen von jeder Mannschaft aus den neuen Bundesländern gerne gesehen.
- Werden Sie ein Fan des FC Bayern München. Dies ist eine Strategie, die gut überlegt sein will, aber sie kann tolle Ergebnisse erzielen. 92% der Deutschen hassen Bayern München, sogar in München selbst. Die übrigen 8% werden automatisch mit Ihnen befreundet sein wollen, weil Sie sonst gar keine Freunde hätten. Dies limitiert Ihre Freundesauswahlmöglichkeiten streng, aber manchmal erzwingen hoffnungslose Zeiten auch hoffnungslose Maßnahmen.
Die seltener genutzte Strategie ist, ein St. Pauli Fan zu werden. Dies wird gewährleisten, dass andere Menschen einen gewissen Sicherheitsabstand zu Ihnen einhalten, was vorteilhaft beim Einkaufen ist.
Mit freundlichen Grüßen, hochachtungsvoll,
John
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May 16th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
What is this new germany you are talking about?
May 16th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
I think he’s talking about the 5 states, which ones built the GDR.
Being a franconian, i don’t know if he’s right about their acceptance for any “eastside fan”, but the rest is true. Except, being a St.Pauli fan will only hold normal people at distance. Punks, bums, hookers and other anti social gesindel will love you!
May 16th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
a popular song in germany:
http://www.tyskopgaver.dk/totenHosen-Song.htm
“never in life i would join bayern munich…’”
May 16th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
While right wing hooligans will love to hunt you down… >;)
May 16th, 2008 at 10:05 pm
there are several rather popular teams in Germany which will not cause you any trouble:
Borussia Mönchengladbach for instance has had it’s great time long ago, but is still popular. The eastern version of this is Carl Zeiss Jena - just the very same thing. The fans of both are known to be rather normal, non violent.
May 16th, 2008 at 10:32 pm
actually it was quite hip for a while to be a st. pauli supporter, even among mainstream society. especially back in the days when they still played bundesliga soccer and beat bayern munich in a home match. after that, thousands of t-shirts with the print ‘defeater of the intercontinental cup winner’ were sold. ahh, good times
May 17th, 2008 at 1:09 am
It’s true - almost everyone hates Bayern Munich.
On the other hand, everyone knows that football in Germany would be boring as hell without them . Who else could attract all these top players? Who else has Uli Hoeness? Plus, it’s worth enduring them when you see them lose against a small team like Cottbus every now and then. There’s nothing like a ‘Krise’ at Bayern Munich ;).
May 17th, 2008 at 5:37 am
Erm, what about feigning some interest in spelling?
May 17th, 2008 at 8:23 am
“Being a franconian, i don’t know if he’s right about their acceptance for any “eastside fan”, but the rest is true.”
Being a Saxon living in (New) Berlin I can assure you he’s right. Except for some particular feuds like Aue vs. Chemnitz. And of course, anyone old enough to have witnessed SED sponsoring of anything Berlin related will be suspicious of any Eastern club from Berlin.
May 17th, 2008 at 9:40 am
Learn to love your local team.
So true. When I moved to Bremen 3 years ago, I didn´t have any other choice…go out on a Heimspielsamstag and try not to cheer for Werder Bremen…you won´t find many new friends!
May 17th, 2008 at 10:00 am
If you really want to integrate, never ever call it soccer - it is and allways will be football, because thats what its played with
May 17th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
I prefer sailing.
May 17th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
Before I moved to the US I lived in Gelsenkirchen for five years - right next to the Schalke stadium “Arena”. I didn’t really like soccer, but moving to Gelsenkirchen you really start to love Schalke (”the soccer team”) since it belongs to the city like the town hall. I haven’t seen anywhere else such a compassion about a team - not in Germany and definetely not in the States. Went to a NFL game in Seattle and the people were so quite. No drums, no yelling, no singing songs…
May 17th, 2008 at 8:09 pm
funny guy
fc bayern munich was, is, and WILL BE the best team in our bundesliga
and st. pauli sucks, thats right.
May 17th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
I agree. Some time ago the company I work with engaged some english managers. In the staff meeting one of the first questions they were asked was about being football fans. They dithered and answered: “Well in Britain football is very much associated to hooligans, so do not let us go one with this.” They liked golf, oarsmanship and cricket. Since then every new manager coming in says his hobbies are football (meaning: I am integrated in Germany) and Golf (meaning: But not with the hooligan part of it.)
May 18th, 2008 at 2:05 am
To be a fan of Bayern Munich has ONE advantage: It is the best pick for the winning team. The “Bayern” win at most every second year.
Some people find this boring, though, and therefore support another team und prefer suffering every year.
May 18th, 2008 at 9:54 am
Suffering is part of the fan experience. Being a Munich-fan is like shooting fish in a barrell…very easy. It’s like being a patriots fan, except Munich gets the title…well, at least on the national level, on the european level they suck pretty hard. No title since 2001, no champions-league and a bad asswhoopin’ from the russians this year. I guess Munich fans know suffering, too
May 18th, 2008 at 10:11 am
As an East German I would not like to be called a “New German”. We have always been german. Yes sometimes the eastern federal countries are called five new federal countries, but East Germans don’t like the term. Though I live now in West Germany I’m a strong supporter of Energie Cottbus, the only East-German team remaining in the major soccer league Bundesliga. I’m also fan of all the east-german born players playing in the big teams. Currently Ballack, Borowski, Adler, Enke and Fritz are part of the national team, which have a status here like the US astronauts in the sixties.
I like your website, it’s incredible funny. I will send the link to all of my american colleagues.
May 18th, 2008 at 10:40 am
As an East German I would not like to be called a “New German”. We have always been german. Yes sometimes the eastern federal countries are called five new federal countries, but East Germans don’t like the term. But you are right though I live now in West Germany I’m a strong supporter of Energie Cottbus, the only East-German team remaining in the major soccer league Bundesliga.
I’m looking forward to any remarks about the national soccer team. Being a rock star is nothing compared to be part of it. You have certainly to explain the secrets of being a “Turniermannschaft” and why Germany will never lose at penalty shooting. (Ok we lost once in an important cup, but it’s over 30 years ago.)
May 18th, 2008 at 11:31 am
Very funny indeed. The St. Pauli thing is great, seems that their fame also reflects on americans ;).
May 18th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
An addition to Eastern Germany:
Don’t be shocked by the religious faith in the local third, fourth, or fifth division soccer team - only being for Cottbus or Aue isn’t enough in Dresden or Leipzig.
Also, never ever mention that it seems to you kind of strange that every now and then the central station must be closed because Dynamo is playing against Union or Lok and the fans are batteling each other in the city center. Hooliganism is a invention of the imperialistic west, the boys are just “having fun”. No problem at all, though.
May 20th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
I saw two guys with a St: Pauli jumper the other day (living in London) quite an unusual sight but it made me feel like home. I <3 st. Pauli.
no one else celebrates even after a defeat.
May 22nd, 2008 at 2:30 pm
Being a St. Pauli supporter really involves a good share of suffering. Although i really love them they suck pretty hard most of the time. Actually they sometimes even suck and blow at the same time (like that one time when they gave away a 3:0 advantage to Offenbach). So based on the win/defeat-rate there wouldn’t be too much to celebrate. But since many St. Pauli supporters are of the aforementioned kind (punks, pimps and hookers) they like to party no matter what the occasion is. So instead of only celebrating the few won games they celebrate every game and *if* they win they just celebrate harder. On the other hand what might look to celebrating a lost game to an outsider is often just “Frustsaufen”. Schalke supporters will know what i’m talking about