Living in Germany is great, and I would recommend it to anyone. Speaking German, on the other hand, is terrible and it should be avoided at all costs. In fact, Mark Twain warned us way back in 1880 in his essay The Awful German Language not to bother with this language. There are countless reasons not to learn German, so let’s discuss a few:
- The German language is, in fact, impossible to learn unless you begin learning it as a baby. Starting to learn this language is impossible if you start later, because your brain will lack the capacity to learn so many senseless details, such as the different forms of the word “the”.
- You probably know in German there are three different genders der, das, and die. So for every single noun out there, you need to memorize a gender as well (the are some rules for determining gender, but for every rule there are just as many exceptions as examples that fit, so you still have to memorize every single one individually). But you also need to change the article, based on the case that you are using the noun in. Let’s see what this looks like in German:
|
German |
| Nominative |
der |
das |
die |
die (pl.) |
| Accusative |
den |
das |
die |
die |
| Dative |
dem |
dem |
der |
den |
| Genitive |
des |
des |
der |
der |
Now let’s translate that table into English:
|
English |
| Nominative |
the |
the |
the |
the (pl.) |
| Accusative |
the |
the |
the |
the |
| Dative |
the |
the |
the |
the |
| Genitive |
the |
the |
the |
the |
Do you really want to learn a language that has 16 ways to say the word “the”? And it doesn’t stop there, you need to learn 16 ways to say “a” (in English 2), and 32 ways to change adjective endings (in English we have 0). And you want to try to do this in real-time in your head while trying to carry one a conversation… forget about it.
- In English, when something is plural we just add “s” to the end. In German you add an “s”, an “e”, a couple of dots somewhere in the middle, an “er”, an “en”, or just do nothing at all and the word becomes plural. Also be careful what case you are talking in, because that changes the plural form again, should you use the dative case.
- For every verb you learn, you must learn to conjugate it for I, you, You, they, he, she, it, and ya’ll. You’ll also need to learn them in present tense, past tense, perfect past tense, and subjunctive. Oh, and having one subjunctive case isn’t good enough for Germans. Germans need two subjunctive cases, because they deem it necessary to designate hearsay grammatically.You will never learn all this, so don’t bother trying.
- No matter how good your German gets, most Germans will speak English much better than you can speak German. Let them do the work in learning your language, since they have to do it anyway to talk with the rest of the world. The British have figured out you can live in Germany with no problems without speaking a word of German, so just follow their lead.
- Use your lack of German speaking abilities to your advantage in the workforce. For every professional job in Germany, English is a required skill. So by default, any professional working in Germany who doesn’t speak English fluently either lied to get the job and/or is incompetent. Forcing these people to speak in English gives you an unfair edge in order to dominate negotiations. Try negotiating in German and you have the exact opposite situation… don’t set yourself up for a weaker position by learning enough German to get you into trouble.
- It makes business meetings more entertaining, because when you show up to the meeting and say you can’t speak German, the meeting has to be conducted in English to accommodate you. This will slow down the pace of the meeting considerably, because you are forcing the majority of the people to speak a foreign language, but Germans love to discuss things so much, that they will take up all the allotted time for the meeting either way. You might as well do this to make it more fun, because it’s really entertaining to watch people who agree with each other fight each other. Since the Germans in the meeting will be so busy trying to figure out how to say what they want to say next in English, they won’t have any chance to pay attention to what the other person is saying, so a heated argument will always ensue, even when the participants completely agree with each other. Sit back, drink some excellent European coffee, eat some Keks and enjoy, cause you wouldn’t be going home soon anyway.
- You will never learn how to say ö or ü.
- Germans will change their spelling system as soon as you learn it. By the time you learn the difference between das and daß, daß doesn’t exist anymore, and in its place you have words like Schifffffahrt.
- Tokio Hotel records English versions of their songs, so you have that angle covered as well.
deutsche Übersetzung für Astrid ein/ausblenden
Hi, Astrid,
hier die Übersetzung:
Lernen sie nie im Leben Deutsch
In Deutschland zu leben ist toll und sehr empfehlenswert. Deutsch zu sprechen ist andererseits fürchterlich und sollte auf jeden Fall vermieden werden. Sogar Mark Twain hat uns schon im Jahre 1880 in seinem Aufsatz “The Awful German Language” davor gewarnt, uns nicht mit dieser Sprache herumzuschlagen. Es gibt unzählige Gründe dafür, nicht deutsch zu lernen, lassen Sie uns ein paar davon diskutieren:
- Die deutsche Sprache zu lernen, ist definitiv unmöglich, es sei denn, Sie beginnen damit als Baby. Später mit dem Lernen dieser Sprache anzufangen ist unmöglich, da Ihr Gehirn nicht groß genug ist, um so viele unnütze Details wie all die verschiedenen Formen von “the” zu lernen.
Sie wissen wahrscheinlich, dass es im Deutschen 3 verschiedene Geschlechter gibt, der, die und das. Also müssen Sie sich für jedes einzelne Nomen ein dazu passendes Geschlecht merken (es gibt einige Regeln, um das Geschlecht zu ermitteln, aber es gibt mindestens genauso viele Ausnahmen von der Regel, so dass Sie sich trotzdem jedes einzeln merken müssen). Sie müssen den Artikel dann auch noch, bezogen auf den Fall in dem Sie das Nomen verwenden, ändern. Schauen sie, wie dies im Deutschen aussieht:
|
Deutsch |
| Nominativ |
der |
das |
die |
die (pl.) |
| Akkusativ |
den |
das |
die |
die |
| Dativ |
dem |
dem |
der |
den |
| Genitiv |
des |
des |
der |
der |
Nun lassen Sie es uns ins Englische übersetzen:
|
Englisch |
| Nominativ |
the |
the |
the |
the (pl.) |
| Accusativ |
the |
the |
the |
the |
| Dativ |
the |
the |
the |
the |
| Genitiv |
the |
the |
the |
the |
Möchten Sie wirklich eine Sprache lernen, in der es 16 Arten gibt “the” zu sagen? Und hier hört es noch nicht auf, Sie müssen auch noch 16 Arten lernen “a” zu sagen (2 im Englischen) und 32 Möglichkeiten Adjektivendungen zu wechseln (auf Englisch gibt es 0). Und dies wollen Sie in Echtzeit versuchen hinzubekommen, während Sie an einer Konversation teilnehmen…vergessen Sie es.
Bei der Pluralform hängen wir im Englischen einfach ein “s” an das Wort. Im Deutschen hängen Sie ein “s”, ein “e” ein paar Punkte in der Mitte, ein “er”, ein “en” an oder Sie machen einfach gar nichts und schon wird das Wort zur Pluralform. Achten Sie ausserdem darauf, in welchem Fall Sie sprechen, denn das ändert die Pluralform noch einmal, falls Sie den Dativ verwenden.
Bei jedem Verb das Sie lernen, müssen Sie sich merken, wie es für “Ich, Du, Er/Sie/Es, Wir, Ihr, Sie” kunjugiert wird. Sie werden diese Verben ausserdem noch in Gegenwart, Vergangenheit, Perfekt und Konjunktiv lernen müssen. Oh, und eine Konjunktivform zu haben ist für die Deutschen nicht gut genug. Sie brauchen zwei Konjunktivformen, da Sie es für nötig halten, das Hörensagen auch grammatikalisch zu kennzeichnen.
Sie werden dies nie alles lernen können, also versuchen Sie es erst gar nicht.
- Egal wie gut Ihr Deutsch sein wird, die meisten Deutschen werden trotzdem besser Englisch sprechen als Sie Deutsch. Lassen Sie sie sich doch die Mühe geben, indem sie IHRE Sprache lernen, da sie dies sowieso tun müssen, um mit dem Rest der Welt zu kommunizieren. Die Briten haben bereits herausgefunden, dass man ohne Probleme in Deutschland leben kann, ohne auch nur ein Wort Deutsch zu können, folgen Sie einfach ihrem Beispiel.
- Nutzen Sie Ihre mangelnden Deutschkenntnisse zu Ihrem Vorteil bei der Arbeit. Für jeden kompetenten Job in Deutschland ist Englisch eine Grundvoraussetzung. Nach dem Ausschlußprinzip ist also jeder Fachmann, der in Deutschland arbeitet aber nicht fliessend englisch spricht, inkompetent oder hat gelogen, um den Job zu bekommen. Indem Sie Verhandlungen auf Englisch führen, sind Sie dabei automatisch in einer stärkeren Position. Auf Deutsch zu verhandeln bringt Sie in die umgekehrte Situation… bringen Sie sich nicht selbst in eine schwächere Position, indem Sie gerade genug Deutsch lernen, dass Sie sich Ärger einhandeln könnten.
-
Es macht Geschäftstreffen unterhaltsamer, denn wenn Sie eintreffen und sagen, dass Sie kein Deutsch sprechen, wird die Besprechung zwangsläufig auf Englisch geführt, um Ihnen entgegenzukommen. Dies wird die Geschwindigkeit der Besprechung erheblich verlangsamen, weil Sie den Großteil der Teilnehmer dazu zwingen, eine Fremdsprache zu sprechen, aber Deutsche lieben Diskussionen so sehr, dass Sie die angesetzte Zeit für die Besprechung sowieso komplett in Anspruch genommen hätten. Sie könnten dies genausogute tun, um mehr Spaß zu haben, denn es ist wirklich sehr unterhaltsam, Leuten beim Streiten zuzuschauen, die eigentlich einer Meinung sind. Da die deutschen Gesprächsteilnehmer so sehr damit beschäftigt sind, zu überlegen, wie sie den nächsten Satz auf Englisch sagen, haben sie keine Möglichkeit mitzubekommen, was die anderen Personen beitragen, so dass immer eine hitzige Diskussion entstehen wird, sogar wenn die Teilnehmer komplett einer Meinung sind. Lehen Sie sich zurück, trinken Sie einen köstlichen europäischen Kaffee, essen Sie ein paar Kekse und geniessen Sie, denn Sie kämen sowieso nicht so schnell nach Hause.
- Sie werden nie lernen, ö oder ü auszusprechen.
- Die Deutschen werden ihr Rechtschreibsystem ändern sobald Sie es gelernt haben. Wenn Sie den Unterschied zwischen das und daß gelernt haben, gibt es daß schon nicht mehr und stattdessen gibt es nun Wörter wie Schifffffahrt.
- Tokio Hotel nimmt nun englische Versionen ihrer Lieder auf, so dass es hier auch kein Problem gibt.
Hab eine schöne Woche
John
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May 12th, 2008 at 5:49 am
Thanks for another brilliant analysis! Being a German living in Prague (and learning the local tongue), I feel compelled to add my two cents:
If you think that the few German cases are difficult then never try to learn a slavic language. In Czech, we not only have the 4 cases above, but also one for “in something” (locative), “with something” (instrumental) and, yes, an extra case just for saying hello! (vocative)
By the way: An American just last month explaned to me that they also have different cases: his/hers and him/her. Granted, that’s not too much to learn by heart. Is there *any* language in the world that has a simpler grammar than English and that native English speakers can learn easily? I would be surprised if this is the case.
May 12th, 2008 at 6:38 am
I remember some american who always tried to learn german… but all the time they had problems to say “rechts” (right) and “links” (left). It sounded like “reckts” and “lianks”.
Maybe you are right, but there are languages who are more difficult to learn (for example the chinese or the indonesian language).
Why the the most germans can speak english? It´s easy: In the most countrys you can find somebody who can talk with you in english. Next reason is that Germans learn english from the beginning of Junior High (in Germany it is the 5th class, after the elementaryschool).
Okay, there are still some other reasons… but i have to hurry up…
Cu later
Greetings,
Rockige
May 12th, 2008 at 6:53 am
How did you come to the idea, that “daß” does not exist anymore? It’s just spelled “dass” now.
I enjoy your weblog pretty much, but some of your posts just seem extensively ignorant to me. (Especially the propageting of not learning a countrys language, cause the others will damn well fit to you anyway… and then mocking about the way they do? That just sounds so stereotypically american.)
And anyway, if German would be easy to learn, it would be english.
(Try Latin, you won’t have problems with german afterwards, or french, or italian.)
May 12th, 2008 at 7:08 am
Perhaps your next post should be on the inability of some Germans to recognize humor?
My husband, the German, laughed out loud when I had him read this. Keep up the good work!
(And, PS, I took 4 years of Latin and 4 of French and still think German is very difficult- although, I am sure, not as much as Chinese.But I don’t need to learn Chinese.)
May 12th, 2008 at 7:32 am
Funny you mention Tokio Hotel. I was soo scared seeing them on Canadian television. I hoped this shame would never go global…
But come on, with more grammatical complications you’ve more possibilities to express yourself!
May 12th, 2008 at 7:43 am
In fact, I agree with you, you will more or less well get through Germany without speaking a word of german. But.
1. It is far more polite if you try at least.
2. I hate Americans (same for British, French, no matter) who step up to you and don’t even ask “Excuse me, do you speak english?” before beginning to talk. Sure, most young people speak the language, but still…
May 12th, 2008 at 8:01 am
Schifffahrt.
Schiff + fahrt.
Easy - isn’t it?
May 12th, 2008 at 8:38 am
Guys, take a chill pill, its not as if this all is meant serious.
May 12th, 2008 at 8:56 am
Being able to get around in Germany without any German at all also depends on the region you are going to.
In a university town like Heidelberg it’s no problem at all since most people are students here anyway and were required to take English in High School for several years.
However, if you go up north to the area around Wilhelmshaven for example (there are probably more areas like this), it will be much, much harder to find people able to understand English who can give you a reply that you will understand and be able to make sense of.
I don’t like people either who just assume that in Germany everybody speaks English and start speaking English to you without asking.
May 12th, 2008 at 10:08 am
I must be one of those rare Americans who have learned German and speak it better than most Germans do English. Contrary to popular belief, German is not a very difficult language to learn and it’s a lot easier than English.
One thing I HATE is when Germans insist on speaking English as they somehow think that if English is your first language that you must somehow be too stupid to know how to speak German.
May 12th, 2008 at 10:54 am
I’m from Germany and I know a guy who moved from the USA to Germany 1 year ago and under these circumstances his german is just perfect.
Of course, he mixes “der, die, das” up and also his “rechts” sounds like “reckts”, but at least he tries to speak german and everyone here in Germany understands him.
May 12th, 2008 at 10:58 am
As an American living in Germany I took the time to learn the language fairly well - though I’m sure I made plenty of mistakes. What I found though was that it was so obvious that I was American when I spoke that the people I talked to often requested that we speak English so that they could practice. Here I had taken the time to learn their language and no one wanted me to speak it to them. I’m still glad I learned to speak German though and I still love to hear the language even though it has been a long time since I’ve been there.
May 12th, 2008 at 11:14 am
Und wir fühlen uns geehrt, dass Du dir diese Mühe gemacht hast
May 12th, 2008 at 11:14 am
First point: I agree with some of the comments above that everyone should at least try to learn the most common phrases when visiting a foreign country. When I went to France last spring I approached the French with an “Excuse me, I am foreign. Could you please help me?” in French (I just can’t spell it anymore). They were delighted I at least tried to speak their language and in the end we used English (as it is the most commonly spoken language) and got along just fine.
Second point: The side effect of our overly complicated language (and it really is complicated, even Russian is easier to learn!) is that the German law is probably the most detailed and clearly formulated law in the world. I won’t say that this makes it more understandable, but it leaves little room for interpretation. I mean, after WW2 a certain country with no love for Germany had its own founding contract and reparation articles spelled out in German rather than English because our language is more precise.
Unfortunately, this makes the German language very unimaginative in my eyes. Subtle points or hidden humor are a lot harder to convey than in English. So, ours is the working language, yours is the fun language
May 12th, 2008 at 11:25 am
german is a great language, it is possible to bolt multiple words together and it still makes sense:
Donaudampfschiffahrtselektrizitätenhauptbetriebswerkbauunterbeamtengesellschaft
(http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donaudampfschiffahrtselektrizit%C3%A4tenhauptbetriebswerkbauunterbeamtengesellschaft)
May 12th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
1. Ziemlich platter Artikel. Sollte wohl lustig rueberkommen, ging aber eher nach hinten los.
2. Woher kommt eigentlich der Glaube, dass man sich auf deutsch genauer ausdruecken kann als auf englisch?
May 12th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
If you’re complaining about the complexity of German grammar, you should try to learn Lithuanian (my girlfriend’s native tongue). Lithuanian grammar is much more complex than German, even more complex than Latin.
Besides, contemporary English is derived from old Anglo-Saxon, which was about as complex as German still is today - but in the time of Middle English, more and more complex forms got lost and replaced by simpler ones. Early modern English (the language of Shakespeare) still had a few of those forms, but today, they’re all but gone.
The more complex the grammar, the less words you need to say something - sentences get longer as language get simpler. And since the words themselves carry less information, the order of those words in a sentence becomes more and more fixed, so that the position of a word can be used as an information carrier. So in English it’s always S-P-O, while in German, there are more possibilities, and in some languages, like Latin, you can virtually put the words in any order you like, because the form of every single word determines its grammatical function - which also means that you can play around with the order of words to add some subtle meaning between the lines…
May 12th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
I could write a similar statement about how difficult it is to me to learn the Englisch language… terrible.
May 12th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
How do you say German for “lack of any sense of humor?” Take it easy everyone! Great post/blog!
May 12th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Dirk: try Afrikaans. They’ve got hardly any inflection at all. Verbs aren’t conjugated except for a perfect marker (ge-), nouns only have plural markers which are rather straight-forward (not as simple as in English, but then again also English has got irregular forms). Plus, the syntax is neat.
By the way, hilarious article.
May 12th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
Try Latin for a difficult grammar or Chinese for impossible pronounciation.
Great blog btw.
May 12th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
@ palndrom23
The word you’re looking for is “Humorlos” (humorless)
May 12th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
You are hilarious, and I really love you and I’m wondering if I could marry you. You might not want to, though, because I’m German and I can open bottles in all the ways you described, but Jeez, you got it all covered!
May 12th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Was seid ihr denn so unentspannt, der Jung hat recht, es ist schwierig.
Aber richtig knifflig wird erst bei Finnisch(wohl schwerste Sprache der welt), ungarisch und japanisch.
Wie kommt ihr Amerikaner eigentlich mit den verschiedenen Dialekten klar die darüberhinaus überall noch gesprochen werden? DAS stelle ich mir wirklich schwierig vor…
May 12th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
I suppose learning Dutch would be a good start for a naitive English speaker before messing around with German — only two gender forms or so (depending were you are and, in theory there are also three…) , grammar has been simplified and it sounds funny for both, Germans and Britons
But German & Dutch have one advantage over English: a lot is written the way it is pronounced/spoken!!! Why is English (& French) fixed to such an archaic spelling even when people decided to make one or two vowel [shoots] etc. every now and then?! GHOTI, GOTHI, GOTHI O:-)
Editor’s Note: My mom reads this.
May 12th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
I´m german too and I love this blog!! =)
You should just laugh about it and be proud that we know how to use this difficult german language
I really enjoy this blog, don´t stop doing this!
May 12th, 2008 at 5:38 pm
Americans often say that Germans lack any sense of humor. This is certainly not true (http://andrewhammel.typepad.com/german_joys/2006/11/my_dear_krauts_.html) but it is true that we have a different sense of humer, especially when it comes to sarcasm.
But if you laugh about us having no sense of sarcasm (and hence not understanding a part of anglo-saxon culture), we could also say that you don’t understand ours, as you’re somehow not able to accept the fact that we can be happy the way we are.
So if you write an ironic (for an American) article about our language, you should be aware of the fact that some Germans might feel offended. If you can’t understand that, you understand our culture just as little as we understand yours.
May 12th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Stefan, to be honest, I am surprised that I have gotten very little negative feedback.
In fact, not one single email has been sent to my email account setup for criticism of this site. I was looking forward to posting a section filled with angry emails. Oh well, we can’t be a successful as we hope all the time.
May 12th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
German at least has a consistent pronounciation. The way the word is written, it is pronounced. Not like English were you have up to 4 different ways of pronouncing the same syllable. Though, through, bough, tough — madness!
May 12th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
Twain’s text is real fun with a hard but small core of realism in it. My favorites are the paragraphs about rules and exceptions, the thousands of meanings of “Zug” and very long compound words.
But honestly, German propably is only terrible from the view of someone whose mother language’s Grammar is as simple as the English one. Four cases? Pah! If you want a real challenge, try learning Finnish!
May 12th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
I am German, but I still don’t get the “Neue Rechtschreibung”.
With the “die”,”der” and “das” - well, if you learn French, Spanish or Italian or……. you also have to learn all these funny articles. And in French the moon would be “la luna” - so female and in German it’s “der Mond” - so male. Also confusing for us, but that’s the way it is.
So don’t feel bad.
May 12th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
Oh…getting around without any German is kind of difficult in some areas in Germany. In The Netherlands it’s easier than in Germany. My husband is American and had a rough time without any knowledge of German when we visited my parents. The people especially in the smaller towns and villages are shy to use their English. So it really depends in which part of Germany you are to survive without using any German.
May 12th, 2008 at 8:36 pm
Yeah, thanks to the neue Rechtschreibung, I can’t even spell English words in German anymore, i.e. Tipp!
May 12th, 2008 at 10:03 pm
German really isn’t that hard. Sure, you got the inflections and conjugations, but its the same in french or spanish.
English has its hard parts too, pronounciation has tons of completely nonsensical exceptions (bomb, tomb; read, read; anything ending with -e), the progressive tenses, etc.
Regarding the neue Rechtschreibung, the ss/ß-rule actually got more intuitive with it. At least we have a definite way of spelling this, whereas English changes constantly.
May 13th, 2008 at 5:54 am
Come to Switzerland and enjoy a simplyfied German. Most cases lost, present, future and past tense. And even they aren’t real conjugations, because its just a gehen and a “go” (some weird leftover) and the Indikativ.
E.g. I gang go ässe - I’m going to eat. Nice, isn’t it?
(ok, dear, there it is, a ä. sorry, but you just have to learn the umlaute)
May 13th, 2008 at 10:48 am
I think you should be glad that you are not learning Irish Gaelic. They conjugate the prepositions, too. Yep. They do:
at = ag
at me = agam
at you = agat
at her= aici
at us = aigibh
at you (pl) = aiginn
at them = acu
For every preposition. And they inflect both nouns and adjectives (and whatever they can find) both at the end and at the beginning of the word - which makes it darn difficult to use a dictionary.
Yep. I think you should be glad it’s only German. We are economical enough to make do with four cases - Russian has seven. And we are not fussy about word order: just put every important bit at the end and you’re about right. (Or use Yoda grammar) And we do have regular verbs. OK. Not many. But we do try.
Oh, and I know a Canadian guy who learned German as an adult and speaks it better than most Germans I know. So, it’s possible. Of course, he might just be a genious.
May 13th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
Wir lernen Englisch zwar in der Schule, aber 80% der Leute verlernen es nach 1-2 Jahren. Für heutige Berufe ist natürlich Englisch Voraussetzung, aber nur in denen International gearbeitet wird. Der Bäcker oder die Verkäuferin an der Kasse benötigt kein Englisch.
Hinzukommt, dass die Aussprache des Englischen der Deutschen meistens grausam klingt, da sie den deutschen Tonfall benutzen.
Translation:
We learn english in school, but 80% of people forget the vocabulary after 1-2 years. Today it’s very important for business to speak english, but only for those they’ve international contact. A baker or a till girl doesn’t need English.
An other point is that the pronunciation of germans in english sounds awful, because they use the german accent.
May 13th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
Well, as soon as you learned to speak german (yes, you will), try to learn french. I’m forced to learn french for 4 years now and I still have no idea on how to express myself without using german or english
So we seem to have something in common.
Quote from Rockige:
Next reason is that Germans learn english from the beginning of Junior High (in Germany it is the 5th class, after the elementaryschool).
I think nowadays you have to learn english as soon as you enter elemtary school? Though I still think it’s an extremly idiotic idea…
May 13th, 2008 at 8:09 pm
[…] Nothing for Ungood benutzt das inoffizielle Pronomen um zu erklären, warum Angelsachsen nicht Deutsch lernen sollen (Hervorhebung hinzugefügt): For every verb you learn, you must learn to conjugate it for I, you, […]
May 14th, 2008 at 1:11 am
In Germany small children learn German and master it eventually. This blog entry makes me think Americans get more stupid the older they grow, hence these language problems.
At lest in German you can tell how a word is pronounced when you see it, as opposed to English. Compare lead (noun) to lead (verb).
May 14th, 2008 at 8:04 am
@Martin: My kids already learn English in Kindergarten and I think it is a very good idea, because they now don’t learn it analytically but just as natural as everything else they learn.
Though there is something: When my wife and me now want to talk about something they should not know immediately, we have to use French. And je nix gut parles pas Fronßäs.
May 14th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
* If you want to learn an easy language learn Esperanto! The only problem with that is that there are so vew speakers.
* As a native german speaker, I need to say that you are right: german grammar is way more complicated than it would need to be.
May 14th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
Lucky me:
I’m a halfbreed German-American (or American-German?), I grew up bilingual and beat all of you! lol
Lustig wird’s immer dann wenn ich Deutsch plapper und in der Nähe sind irgendwelche “It’s better in the states”-Touristen, die denken das sie sowieso niemand versteht, denen ich dann unverhofft was in feinstem General American vor den Latz knall. Die Gesichter sind, nunja, “priceless” ^^
May 14th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
Nichtsdestotrotz empfehle ich jedem hübschen Fräulein, die Sprache der Dichter und Denker zu lernen. Es geht Nichts über einen jungen Mann, der in romantischer Manier in der deutschen Sprache jede Menge Süßholz raspelt
May 14th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
Es ist interessant zu lesen, was Amerikaner und Engländer über andere Sprachen denken. Dass Ihnen bei einer solchen Einstellung nur wenig Sympathie entgegengebracht wird, sollte sie nicht wundern.
Man kann zwar in in anderen Ländern halbwegs problemlos auf Englisch eine Tasse Kaffee bestellen, aber die Herzen der Menschen erreicht man damit nicht - will man vielleicht auch garnicht.
Wer das nicht glaubt, fahre mal durch Lateinamerika und versuche sich mit Englisch/Amerikanisch durchzuschlagen. Er wird ans Gringo eingestuft und entsprechend behandelt.
May 15th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
@Nils: Hi m8! But “So in English it’s always S-P-O” - not quite, and it’s “S-V-O”. But the difference is that in English, you *can* divert from that rule for aesthetic purposes, whereas in German in some cases you *have* to divert from it to S-O-V.
“You will never learn how to say ö or ü.”
The “ea” in “earl” (the aristocratic title) comes pretty close to “ö” in sound. But unfortunately, the phonetic similarity is only superficial; “ö” is a front vowel, the sound seems to originate between your lips, which are held puckered. Sound silly, and indeed it is.
“Keks”
Interesting one. It’s apparently a literal transcription of “cakes”. 100 years ago, they still wrote “cakes” in German. I have no idea if that’s the reason why we write “Keks” today; maybe because “cak-” in German is too damn close to “Kack-”, which is not something you’d want to eat.
Back then, German also used the genitive apostrophe-s frequently, which today is called “Deppenapostroph” (”dimwit’s apostrophe”). See for example: http://www.springerlink.com/content/k56462032426n214/
May 15th, 2008 at 7:35 pm
When you started off with the infamously unfunny Mark Twain article, I thought that boded ill for the post, but thanks, this was actually one of the funnier articles.
It’s always struck me as particularly rude behaviour to talk back to people trying to speak German in English. Just think, fellow countrymen and - women, how deflated you feel when that waiter in a bar in Rimini answers you in German when you’ve just tried to order “due expressi”
May 16th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Congratulations!
I’m a german guy and I visited several times the USA.
So I can compare both sides of the medal.
Great blog!
I never was so amused reading so many preconceptions at a time.
:-)))
But they are all true!
So I’m out for revenge for this. I’m thinking about writing a blog:
“How to survive in America as a German.”
Greets,
Manni
May 17th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
German is a wonderfull language for literature because every aspect of information in every single word changes the way of seeing the world.
So every language offers a different way of understanding your environment and that is the interesting aspect of the variation of cultures.
May 17th, 2008 at 7:00 pm
@Stefan: Hilarious post, dude! Keep it up!
May 18th, 2008 at 8:28 am
This article is hilarious! Loved it.
May 18th, 2008 at 7:19 pm
Deutsch ca. 350.000 Worte - Englisch ca. 750.000 Worte
Deutsch: Aussprache sehr regelmäßig von der Schriftform abzuleiten.
Englisch: Lerne die Aussprache von allen 750 T Worten einzeln, weil keinerlei Systematik.
Und Du jammerst über die paar Artikel?
PS. Warum kann man hier nicht auf Spanisch kommentieren? Immerhin 2. Amtssprache in großen Teilen der USA?
Spanisch: Aussprache noch regelmäßiger, weil 100% von der Schriftform abzuleiten!
¡Hasta luego!
May 19th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Allgemein:
1. Chinesische Grammatik ist sehr einfach - die Schrift ist schwierig zu erlernen.
2. Indonesische Grammatik ist sowieso leichter, als die europäischer Sprachen (Dass sie schwer sei, wurde oben fälschlicherweise behauptet).
3. Ob eine Sprache nun wirklich “schwer” ist, hängt meiner Ansicht nach vielmehr davon ab, wie leicht (oder schwer) sich der Erlernende damit tut, insofern er nicht gerade Latein lernt oder andere ähnlich komplexe Sprachen (z.B. gibt es am Amazonas und in Südafrika sehr viel umfassendere, umfangreichere Sprachen in Sachen Grammatik, als europäische Sprachen).
4. Der Artikel ist ganz lustig, fußt aber auf komischen Unterstellungen, Begründungen und vereinfachten Darstellungen.
Zur Sprache:
1. Die englische Schreibung hat wohl ein Legastheniker entworfen?
2. Die deutsche Grammatik mag zwar etwas umfangreicher sein als die englische - dieser scheinbare Makel wird jedoch durch den unendlichen englischen Wortschatz in Sachen Schwierigkeit in der Gesamtbilanz wettgemacht. Von daher kann man bei diesen beiden Sprachen nicht von einer einfacheren und einer schwierigeren reden.
3. Wenn dir die deutschen Artikel nicht passen, schau dir die Nominalklassen im Suaheli an.
4. Deutsch ist – trotz deiner fragwürdigen Argumentation, warum man sie nicht lernen sollte - die dritt meistgelernte Sprache der Welt.
5. Die deutsche Rechtschreibung beherrscht ohnehin fast niemand 100 %-ig richtig – was soll’s?
6. Sowieso beherrscht niemand seine Muttersprache perfekt, das unterstelle ich nun der Menschheit
Fazit: Lernt Deutsch, eine tolle Sprache :-)!
May 22nd, 2008 at 7:55 pm
great article.
One more reason not to learn german: English is often just more exact and uncomplicated. I used to talk english with my american boyfriend (who could speak german fairly well) because i couldn’t stand his painful expression when he tried to follow longer german sentences (schachtelsätze) plus whatever you want to say, in english you need 1 sentence when you need 2 to 3 in german.
For all those who still want to try, here’re some tips for german pronounciation:
1. when you want to pronounce ü, say a long eeeeeee (i) and then slowly without changing the postion of your tounge round your lips.
2. the same works for ö but starting from the german e-sound (which i can’T recall in any english word at the moment). it’s the e in the words Esel or eben.
3. To pronounce the german r. Germans claim that there r is formed as a trill in the back of the mouth. actually most germans don’t really articulate the r-sound at all. So if you want to articulate a german r just don’T try and say a german a instead.
so dont say wurst, but wuast, not aber, but abea, not sturm, but stuam.
it gets more difficult though when the word is starting with an r or the r comes after another consonant. but also in this case germans don’T pronounce an r but a soft vocalized hissing sound which is indeed pronounced in the back of the mouth.
the mean thing is that this sound is really close to the german ch-sound which i’ve heard no american pronounce correctly by now.
and to destroy all hopes for those seeking to learn the german language and to pronounce it correctly.
there are in fact three different ch-sounds in german articulation.
one is the ich-sound. this ch is articulated as a hissing sound in the center of the mouth. the ach-sound is articulated in the back of the mouth and the so called r-sound is articulated also as a voiced hissing sound in the back of the mouth.
If you want to learn about phonetics of speech in different languages visit this page http://web.uvic.ca/ling/resources/ipa/ipa-lab.htm
May 23rd, 2008 at 2:49 pm
an simi1983: wieso sollte Englisch oft genauer sein als Deutsch? Und wenn es so wäre, wieso sollte es ein Grund sein, nicht Deutsch zu lernen?
Das Englische hat auch seine Nachteile (siehe enormes Vokabular z.B.).
Es ist schon tückisch, wie viele Deutsche ihre eigene Sprache herunterreden, obwohl sie gar nicht mal “schwer” ist, wenn man sich an ein paar Regeln hält. Kenne genug Leute, die Deutsch lernen, die Sprache schön/toll/wunderbar finden und weitgehend keine Probleme damit haben, sich verständlich darin auszudrücken.
Das mit den 3 deutschen Sätzen für einen englischen verstehe ich ebenfalls nicht.
Sehr eigenartig, wie Sie versuchen, den Leuten klar zu machen, sie sollen nicht Deutsch lernen. Hegen Sie einen Groll gegen die Sprache?
May 25th, 2008 at 1:01 pm
What this post illustrates the most to me is that regardless of which language is preferable, people really have problems with different sense of humour and sarcasm. Illuminating. My own experiences are more from British black humour and self-mockery, which is also something I haven’t come across in Germany a lot: tough when you’re a German in the first place.
May 25th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
@ peter:
Mein Statement über Deutsch kommt daher, dass ich in meinem Studium bis jetzt mit 7 verschiedenen Sprachen zu tun habe. Die Sekundärliteratur zu meinem Studium ist entweder Englisch, Deutsch oder Französisch. Die Primärliteratur ist in Sanskrit, Hindi, Kannada und Bengali.
Wenn man sich mit so vielen Sprachen beschäftigt, fällt einem früher oder später unweigerlich auf, dass manche Sprachen eine besonders schöne oder “anregende” Grammatik haben, dass manche Sprachen weniger Zweideutigkeiten zulassen als andere und dass manche Sprachen Kniffe haben, die besonders “elegante” Formen der Ausdrucksweise erlauben. Als Deutsch-Muttersprachler und als jemand der seine wissenschaftlichen Arbeiten in Deutsch schreibt (was nicht selbstverständlich ist) habe ich nichts gegen die Deutsche Sprache. Rein objektiv gesehen ist Deutsch aber im Vergleich zu vielen anderen Sprachen “schwerfällig”.
Ich merke das, wann immer ich Fachliteratur in deutscher Sprache lese. Hier ist es tatsächlich so, dass Ideen, die in einem englischen Aufsatz ohne jede Zweideutigkeit in einem Satz gesagt sind, in 2 bis 3 Sätzen ausgedrückt werden müssen.
Aber klar hat Englisch auch seine Nachteile (z.B. für Legastheniker, oder wie erklärt man eine Regel für die Aussprache von -ough- in verschiedenen Wortkontexten).
Du hast in einem deiner Comments geschrieben, dass die “Schwierigkeit” einer Sprache oft beim Lerner selbst liegt. Das stimmt meiner Meinung nach nur Teilweise. Wenn man sich einmal angewöhnen musste, dass Sanskrit Formen wie den Aorist kennt ist unabhängig von der Sprachbegabung froh zwischendurch mal Hindi sprechen zu können (hier wird nur ein Verb und zwar “sein” komplett durch konjugiert). Außerdem kann ich hier durch Partizipien mit einem bis zwei Worten sagen, wofür ich im Deutschen einen ganzen Nebensatz bräuchte.
So, nun nochmal genauer zur Frage: Sollten Englisch-Muttersprachler in Deutschland Deutsch lernen oder nicht?
Als Student der interkulturellen Kommunikation kann ich natürlich nur JA antworten, denn erst die Sprache eröffnet einem einen Zugang zur Kultur eines Landes. Um aber in die Kultur eines Landes einzutauchen brauch es vor der Sprache ein weiteres: den WILLEN dies zu tun. Und das ist doch eine Frage der persönlichen Entscheidung.
Und die Moral von der Geschicht’, die weiß ich nicht! :p
Ich konnte dennoch immer besser in Englisch streiten als in Deutsch (vor allem weil ich im Streit gern in die Umgangssprache rutsche die für meinen Ex, der ja Deutsch konnte, trotzdem oft eher komisch war).
Ein letztes an Alle: Herrgott, nehmt’s doch net alles so ernst! Das ist ja schrecklich. wenn ich das blog hier richtig verstanden hab ist das doch lustig gemeint. man kann auch da probleme schaffen wo keine sind.
May 26th, 2008 at 10:09 am
Ich frag mich ja immer, wie den Kindern in englischsprachigen Ländern in der elementary school zum allerersten Mal die Buchstaben und ihre Lautbedeutungen nahe bringt.
im Deutschen ist das ja relativ einfach, abgesehen natürlich von ein paar Sonderregeln wie beim z. B.eu oder sch:
Das A spricht man wie folgt aus. *a-Laut aussprech*
Das B spricht man wie folgt aus. *b-Laut aussprech*
usw…
Und wenn man dann die ganzen Buchstaben-Symbole und ihre assoziierten Laute gelernt hat (bei Konsonanten meist im Namen enthalten, bei Vokalen IST das der Name!!), kann man schon lesen!
Im Englischen aber ist das nicht so einfach…
May 27th, 2008 at 7:07 pm
an simi1983:
Zuallererst:
Statement = Aussage, Standpunkt, Stellungnahme, …
Comment = Beitrag, Kommentar, …
Wollt ich Ihnen nur mal nahe legen, da Sie ja meinten, die deutsche Sprache zu mögen
Es ist sehr bemerkenswert, dass Sie so viele Sprachen erlernen und anwenden. Meine Hochachtung. Auch ich finde es schön, neue Sprachen zu erlernen. Vor allem Sprachen, die sich nicht durch Kolonialwahn und Imperialismus beispielsweise ausgebreitet haben.
Mir macht es darüber hinaus ebenfalls Spaß, auch mal auf anderen Sprachen zu reden, da ich zum Beispiel Dinge anders darstellen kann und es für mich ebenfalls sehr interessant ist, andere Grammatiken, Wörter, Laute, usw. zu erlernen und zu praktizieren. Das Deutsche als meine Muttersprache ist jedoch meine unangefochtene Lieblingssprache, da ich finde, dass man seine Kultur und vor allem Sprache stets wahren und vorrangig behandeln sollte (meine Meinung).
Zum Thema.
Bitte hören Sie auf, Ihre persönliche Meinung als allgemein gültig festzulegen. Meiner Ansicht nach rücken Sie Ihre persönliche Meinung viel zu sehr ins Zentrum Ihrer Argumentation. Ich wiederhole es nochmals: Mir sind viele Menschen bekannt, die Deutsch lernen und keine Probleme mit der Sprache haben, insofern sie sich verständlich darin auszudrücken wissen. Es kann sein, dass es hier und da Sprachen gibt, in denen man dies und jenes leichter auszudrücken vermag, als im Deutschen. Doch werden Sie, da bin ich mir sicher, im Deutschen gleichfalls Vorteile finden, im Bezug auf jedwede andere Sprache.
Und selbst wenn es nicht so wäre, sind genug Personen zu nennen, die sich durch die deutsche Sprache einst Rang und Namen verdient haben – oder unter Verwendung dieser - und selbst damit zu Weltgeltung kamen (Goethe, Nietzsche, Schiller, Tokio Hotel (leider schreiben sie nun auch englische Texte, allerdings nicht mein Geschmack), Hegel, Kant, Schopenhauer, usw.). Also kann man doch höchst zufrieden sein als Deutscher, eine Sprache zu sprechen, die gleichfalls nebenbei die dritt meistgelernte der Welt ist, was unter Anderem diesen Deutschmuttersprachlern zu verdanken ist. Das soll nicht heißen, dass ich Sprachen mit geringerer weltlicher Geltung herunterreden möchte. Im Gegenteil. Je mehr Sprachen es auf der Welt gibt, desto spannender und aufregender, finde ich.
Dass viele Menschen gereizt auf das Thema reagieren, ist wahrscheinlich daran festzumachen, dass der Artikel bei vielen einen markanten Nerv trifft. Es ist nun mal wirklich so, dass die deutsche Sprache durch ihre Verwender unnachhaltig behütet und gehegt wird. Mir ist nämlich nur von diesem einen (Deutsch-)Land bekannt, dass die eigene, innewohnende Sprache einerseits Opfer derartiger Amerikanisierung ist, wie es sonst nirgends der Fall ist und andererseits - was mir auch oft unterkam – ein Großteil der Deutschen beispielsweise auf Menschen nichtdeutscher Herkunft, die leichte bis schwerwiegendere sprachliche Schwäche im Deutschen haben und sich in der deutschen Sprache versuchen, einfach auf Englisch einreden, was wiederum meiner Meinung nach sehr diskriminierend, richtig peinlich, äußerst schade und einseitig ist. Auch ich fühle mich dadurch, das gebe ich offen zu, sehr gestört. Insofern ist es schon ein Problem und diese Plattform dient der Thematisierung dieses Problems, da es sonst nicht ausreichend thematisiert wird.
Dass es für Deutschmuttersprachler nicht üblich ist, wissenschaftliche Arbeiten auf Deutsch zu schreiben, ist meiner Meinung nach ebenfalls sehr traurig und zeugt von wenig Selbstbewusstsein.
Stellen Sie sich vor, Sie gehen in ein anderes Land, freuen sich darauf, die neu erlernte Sprache zu sprechen und finden dann überwiegend kulturlose Sandsäcke vor, die nicht einmal vor sich selbst, sprich; ihrer eigenen Kultur, Achtung haben – wären Sie nicht schockiert und niedergeschlagen?
Das sind nun ein paar Anregungen um die Befürchtungen, Ängste, den Ärger, Kummer, usw. vieler Menschen zu verstehen, die diesem Problem anhängen.
Nun kann man sich auch denken, was ich mit jemandem tun würde, der sich verhält wie der obige Ersteller des – naja - ganz netten Beitrages
Ihr Privatleben geht mich zwar nichts an, aber: Tut mir Leid mit Ihrem amerikanischen Freund, doch geben Sie es zu – er konnte sowieso nicht richtig Deutsch
- also, was soll’s!
May 28th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Here another point of view. For this author we have not enough words:
“For instance, the same sound, SIE, means you, and it means she, and it means her, and it means it, and it means they, and it means them. Think of the ragged poverty of a language which has to make one word do the work of six — and a poor little weak thing of only three letters at that. But mainly, think of the exasperation of never knowing which of these meanings the speaker is trying to convey.”
http://www.crossmyt.com/hc/linghebr/awfgrmlg.html
Is it possible that we do anything right?
May 28th, 2008 at 10:58 pm
@Maren:
you = du, Sie, ihr, dich, euch, man
Even again!
May 29th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
Brilliant article. I nearly pissed my pants. I am German and I love my language but I agree: it’s very hard to learn for a foreign adult.
BUT I have to say, that a LOT of Americans or British speak German very well. Never mind the genetiv and “dem, deren, dessen” stuff - that’s really not important to say something precisely.
May 29th, 2008 at 6:09 pm
Not speaking German properly can even lead to fame and fortune!
http://nothingforungood.com/2008/04/23/open-letter-to-bruce-darnell/
June 4th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
I just found the blog, and I can’t stop laughing. I’m an American living in Germany (currently Oberfranken, but I’ve lived in Nordrhein-Westfalen and Baden-Württemberg), and I love some of the quirks, similarities, and differences between US and German culture (yes, we do have some culture - kitschy at times, but it is one :P). The reference to “The Awful German Language” is fantastic, and describes the challenges I’ve had in learning the language since I got here. My favorite bit? When Twain makes a point about some the idiosyncrasies between English and German:
Gretchen.
Wilhelm, where is the turnip?
Wilhelm.
She has gone to the kitchen.
Gretchen.
Where is the accomplished and beautiful English maiden?
Wilhelm.
It has gone to the opera.
Oh, for the people pointing out the nuances in English, George Bernard Shaw summed it up in one word: ghoti. For those unfamiliar, it’s pronounced “fish.” You know, “gh” as in “tough,” “o” as in “women,” and “ti” as in “nation.” Simple, ain’t it?
June 6th, 2008 at 11:42 am
Btw. Chinese would be really easy if there would not be these impossible tonations ant the completely outlandish writing system.
So, despite the fact that chinese is just terrible for these reasons, the grammar and the way to use and combine words ist just great.
June 7th, 2008 at 6:14 pm
I find quite a few of these points incredibly amusing. Firstly, German is not “impossible” to learn. It is a language, and just like any other language, it can be learned given enough time, desire, and discipline. Just because a bunch of Americans start crying the moment they encounter something as “novel” as masculine, feminine and neutral pronouns or the genitive cases does not make German “impossible” — it only makes certain people impossible.
The second point smacks of ignorance and arrogance, a deadly combination. Again: just because some people seem to have some kind of inexplicable malfunction when it comes to mastering certain sounds (give me a break — after an entire year, there is no reason you should not be able to properly pronounce the ‘r’ in ‘rechts’ or the ‘ch’ in ‘ich’ unless you are challenged in some way) does not mean Germans will “always speak German better.”
Less than three years after I began learning the language German speakers would have to talk with me at least ten minutes until they began suspecting it was not my native language. Even then, the only thing that gave it away was that I would sometimes pause to search for pertinent vocabulary when discussing complicated topics.
You sound lazy, arrogant, and ethnocentric. You should just leave Germany if you don’t love it and have no plans to integrate. The States is a great place for that type.
June 7th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
“Btw. Chinese would be really easy if there would not be these impossible tonations ant the completely outlandish writing system.”
Wow, I guess ignorance attracts ignorance.
The “tonations” are NOT ‘impossible,’ you’re prbably just tone deaf. There are only FOUR of them. How incredilby challenging can this possibly be for you? Ma1, ma2, ma3, ma4. Just practice for half an hour every day for two weeks, you’ll get it. You are either stupid or lazy or both.
But the real icing on the cake is you referring to the eight thousand year old writing system as “outlandish.” What are you, some kind of freak that just crawled out from under a rock? How can you make such an imbecilic comment? You sad fool. Again, you are probably either spacially challenged, lazy, stupid, or any combination of the three.
Start with five characters a week and write each one ten to thirty times a day, taking care to use the correct number of strokes and stroke direciton and you’ll get it eventually. How ironic you’d call it “outlandish” when, in fact, fifty years ago the PRC even SIMPLIFIED it to make it as idiot proof as possible. But I guess you won’t be satisfied until they give up on their “outlandish” writing system and start using the Latin alphabet, eh?
Morons leading morons.
June 9th, 2008 at 10:41 pm
First of all, please forgive me if my spelling sucks (I’m German).
Now to the things have the need to say:
1. Alle Deutschsprachigen, die sich über diese Webseite oder ihren Inhalt aufregen, sollten sich die Mühe machen die einleitenden Sätze zu lesen (85% Wahrheit und 15% Unsinn, Halbwahrheiten, Falsches) und/oder sollten vielleicht nochmal in den Keller gehen, um ihren verloren geglaubten Humor rauskramen.
2. All native English speakers which take an offense if unasked talked in (D)English to: Don’t take it. Those people just try to make your stay more comfortable.
3. German words alone are pretty easy to learn. But be warned: The grammar will be killing (at least 1 exemption to every rule, at least 2 ways to build a sentence, 3 differently expressed genders, 4 cases) That’s why German is listed as one of the hardest to learn languages.
4. Whoever said English is easy to learn, should try to express “a group of certain animals”. Just a few examples:
- a HERD of horses
- a FLOCK of sheep
- a PRIDE of lions
- a LODGE of beaver
- a MURDER of crows
And there are a lot more!!!
Finally: This website was made to get a few laughs out of the oddities of German language and behavio(u)r and I got quite a few reading the stuff above the comments. Good work!
——
The horizon of most people is a circle with a radius of zero. They call it their point of view. (Albert Einstein)
June 24th, 2008 at 1:15 am
Einfach köstlich dieser Artikel und das Blog im Allgemeinen. Eigentlich müßte ich schon längst schlafen, aber ich habe mich hier festgelesen.
Lassen Sie sich bloss nicht irritieren durch humorlose Kommentatoren, denen der Feinschliff ihrer Artikel, sprich die Satire, entgeht.
Liebe Grüße
Manuela
June 27th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian) has a simpler grammer than English.
Want to make a noun plural? You say it twice!
June 29th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Very. Funny. Thanks.
July 3rd, 2008 at 7:41 pm
Well I guess Sebastian can add “successfully fails to detect irony or sarcasm” to his modest CV!
July 4th, 2008 at 6:10 pm
Ich find den Artikel hamma…wieso sollte man nicht über sein eigenes land lachen können…die sprache selbst..naya is eig. ganz einfach , nur die grammatik und ihre 10.0000 Regeln ist echt zum kotzen..
July 30th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
You forgot to mention that English is an elegant blending of old German and old French and has evolved march farther beyond its simpler root-languages than their own modern versions hve, and English is therfore superior and should be used by everybody, especially the Germans and the French.
July 30th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
I’m laughing out loud here! As someone who has started to learn German as a teenager (with the exception of one or two swearwords picked up from Dad) I can agree with most of the difficulties expressed in the blog entry and comments. German IS one of the more difficult languages to learn.
Speaking of difficult-to-learn languages, I have studied some Japanese (still working on kanji, I’m only up to a 6th grade level at the moment) and am in the process of studying Chinese, and both are much easier to me than German even though I’m older now. Chinese to me is a very musical language where a word or sentence structure often just has to “sound right” to be right, in my opinion. I’m learning Mandarin Chinese, by the way, since I’m not so sure whether my ear can distinguish between nine or even more tones of some other dialects. Japanese is a very “logical” language, pronunciation-wise somewhat between French, German and English.
My major problems with German were with the pronunciation, as noted in John’s blog entry, “ö” is almost impossible to do right if you’ve not had a similar sound composition ingrain itself in your speech apparatus while you were still developing. It is somewhat irksome to me that even after six years of actively speaking and using German I’m still incapable of speaking accent-free unless I concentrate very much.
Building vocabulary is just about the same for me in every single language- I’ll have to say that I’m someone who learns best if wholly immersed in a new language, without recourse to familiar fields and without grammar or vocabulary lists. The only language where I had to use SOME grammar lists was German since- I’m very, very sorry to say!- it seemed to neither have a “logical” rhythm nor a melody I could follow (e.g. like French). I know that case-wise it is still in the lower field- what are four against Latin’s six (if you don’t count the different ablatives as separate cases), or Finnish’s thirty-somethings? Latin I studied, Finnish I’m happy to leave to the native speakers (too many “ö” sounds in there for me, too, sorry!)…
I guess the human brain can process anything as long as it really wants to- but I’ll say that German is doing its d*mn best to make that rather difficult.
August 28th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
So you think German is a difficult language? Lucky guy, you never had to learn trillions of phrasal verbs like “put off” “put down” “put aside” “put forward” “put in” …
English might seem to be an easy language at the first glimpse, but when it comes to details you will realize that it is the most difficult language in the world!
August 28th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
einsetzen, aussetzen, absetzen, versetzen, entsetzen, übersetzen, ansetzen, aufsetzen, nachsetzen…
Point not taken.
August 28th, 2008 at 8:51 pm
Hinlegen, weglegen, beiseitelegen, vorlegen, ablegen, umlegen, verlegen…
The English language is not alone with this.
September 1st, 2008 at 3:21 pm
You are absolutely right. If I wasn’t a native speaker I would never learn it myself. But only because I am lazy.
There is really to much unnecessary grammar in our language. Unfortunately we first realize when it comes to learning English. That’s why it is not introduced until 5th grade. Otherwise German children would refuse to learn German grammar
But anyway, there are people who like the language, me for instance. In comparison to English you have the possibility to express things in an much more accurate way. My Canadian roomate even called it “much more sophisticated”.
So everyone, if you want to be part of this sophisticated-speaking world, dare to learn it!
September 1st, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Hi Marius,
nice to hear that you like German (you’re the only one I’ve ever met in my life)
I don’t think that we can express things more accurately, we just do it in a different way. I think the most complicated thing in English is the vast amount of words and synonyms and as a non-native speaker you’re very likely to choose the wrong word in the wrong moment ;-O)
Cheers
September 9th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Only short comment:
I really liked that article, I laughed a lot, in a positive way of course, on reading the part with the business meetings : ]
September 20th, 2008 at 6:23 pm
ha! i can’t believe you keep saying “don’t bother” “you will never learn this” and so on!
your nice. not.
it really depends on the person, talent, practice, and how long you have been learning and speaking the language and how long you have been living in the country.
yes it is difficult for english speakers to learn german but you can’t say it’s impossible. i know americans how speak perfect german! very very few mistakes every now than but that is normal!
what do you think? bis du verrückt?
September 28th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
@kk: He’s just joking!! This blog is nothing but fun, you needn’t take this too seriously.